I do not always feel particular
or beautiful
I should feel organic
or natural
If I find it feeling human
or lifelike at all

I would relax
begin speaking to you with
laughter
or about petty concerns
preoccupations
not the present notions that
do not matter really
like the system

It is not so pleasant these days
or was it ever
I do feel like it can be
beautiful or particular
or stripped to it’s bare bones
patch up loop holes
or rip off the scabs

Splendor is a daydream
or pipe dream I forget
to remember
but when it gets passed up
or left behind with particulars
or beauties
I start to notice I am missing
something
and I want that thing back
whatever it was

I could give what I have gained
or contribute
somehow repay the universe
or my country
but why?

I could keep my particulars
or my beauties
bury them with the rest of it
pride or whatever
you want to call it
plastic
or unhinged
I brave to keep myself apart
from madness
or hate
pretend the woods are closer
that they are
walking my mind
or soul away from here

-Nisi-

1118161508_hdr.jpg

Photo by Nisi with LG G5 Grass Valley, California 2016